Most of us think of time as “real,” as a measurement of where we are in our day, our week … our life. It comes as a surprise to realize that time is actually where we are in our thoughts, no matter where we are chronologically in our day, our week … our life. I have seen this again and again working with clients: The woman who spent most of her days angrily rehashing her violent marriage, which had ended five years before I met her. The young woman who relived...
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In my young adulthood, I looked at life as binary. There was “real life,” filled with stress, anxiety, pressure, obligations, exhaustion, responsibilities, demands. And there was the occasional “vacation,” when all that real life stuff was set aside and, for a brief time, days were filled with quietude, fun, ease, relaxation, and enjoyment of beauty. On vacation, you renewed your love of life. In real life, you dealt with frustration and disappointment. Oh, well. That was the price of adulthood and success, I thought. The goal seemed to be to...
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How many times every day do we get the message that we’re not in charge of the events that happen to and around us? We can choose the day for our family picnic, but we have no control over the wind or rain; we can decide to accept an invitation to speak at a friend’s wedding, but we cannot control whether we come down with laryngitis the day of the ceremony; we can promise to be at a job interview on time, but we cannot control whether we have a...
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Across the world, it often seems Civility has gone to sleep. Angry, even vengeful, Clamor seems to be the dominant voice. What we hear a lot of now is loud and forceful and menacing. It appears powerful as it happens. But it is not natural to humanity. And it represents only the power of thought when it flows through insecurity. The power itself is neutral; how we are using it determines how it manifests. The same power flowing through love is even more stirring. As I listen to what too often passes...
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When do thoughts matter? Always, and never. Thoughts always matter because our thoughts generate our perceptions and experiences. All we ever know of life is what we think in every moment. Thoughts never matter because they are fleeting images we create in our own minds. They have no weight or consequence that we don’t give to them. Understanding that we are the authors of our thoughts and it is always up to us how seriously to take them, how long to entertain them, and what significance to give the experiences they engender is...
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The drive for recognition, for specialness, is a denial of our true nature. We cannot make ourselves more special than our birthright as spiritual beings, gifted with the precious capacities to create, change, and enjoy our lives and fulfill all the dreams we can dream. We cannot top the the power that carries us into, and eventually out of and once more beyond, this world. So the use of our gifts to try to be more than the best we can each be moment-to-moment as we fulfill our life looks, to...
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