Three Principles Living

Judith A. Sedgeman, EdD

How we look at others

How we look at others

While updating a course I teach online for West Virginia University last week, I developed a new lecture called “Stance Towards Others”. It relates to things we discussed at the first Workshop here. It really matters, as far as the outcome of our interactions, especially from a leadership perspective, how we “see” the health in ourselves and others. (Here’s a link to the PowerPoints; unfortunately, I can’t link you to the Camtasia lecture because it’s embedded in a course only open to those who are registered for it.)

In all interactions, we have a certain “stance”. Often, for people in leadership positions, it is superiority, or the insecure feeling of pressure to know the answers and thus be in charge. Depending on one’s leadership style, that can manifest, in one-on-one dealings with others, as everything from commiseration to one-up, one-down guidance. When we don’t truly understand the profound common ground on which we ALL stand, no matter what — we are using the gifts of mind, thought and consciousness to create an experience and see it as real moment-to-moment-to-moment — we lose our trust that we can actually relate to others on an equal footing and bring out the best in them. To the degree that we are insecure ourselves — not sure that we can count on our own wisdom or quiet down enough to get in touch with an insight — we tend to assert ourselves more or less, rather than listening and waiting for an insight to see what to do or say next.

The good news and the bad news for all of us is that we see it in ourselves before we can see it in others. That’s the good news because as soon as we get the realization of our own strength and access to wisdom, it is easier to find peace and sustain hope and optimism and address life challenges with certainty. That’s the bad news because we can’t get there intellectually by “wishing” it so or repeating the “facts.” It comes to each of us in a moment of insight, out of a quiet, peaceful feeling, from reflection. It comes to each of us in our own way and our own words. No one can force it or make us get it.

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